In life, we come across many forms and sorts of people. And with them, we also come across many forms and sorts of love. We see many people in their own relationships, ranging from very dysfunctional to being actually happy. The question was raised within me some time ago — what is love? What is the meaning of being with someone? What is the point being with someone? Is it to get rid of loneliness? Is it to just have someone to talk to? What was it? The answer to these may be too complicated to explain for one lifetime, but I’ll try anyways.
To me, I never believed that love meant just the romance or just the physicality. To me, love meant everything. Love meant one person who is ready to take on the world with you. Whatever the word ‘soulmate’ tries to signify, exactly that. Love means to be able to go through thick and thin. Love means to survive together, no matter how bad it gets. Not only because you are attached to the person, but also because you know deep down they make you better as an individual, and vice versa. Love, all in all, is the most raw, honest and unbroken form of a friendship. Plus a little more, but that little more is not really as important as the former part of it. Love is friendship, love is perseverance, love is acceptance. If you have someone who accepts all the flaws within you, please reconsider your choices with them. Please reconsider ever shouting at them, reconsider ever telling them you are too busy for them, reconsider hurting them — ever. You never know which one of your actions may tip them over the edge and damage something beyond repair. Something that is already very beautiful, very perfect with its own imperfections.
I guess what I’m saying is. To me, you’re in love when you have heard them have a terrible day and you allow them to take it out on you. Not because you support that kind of an idea, but because you know they are comfortable enough to show that ugly side of their’s with you. You’re in love when they doubt you every now and then, even though it’s irrational. Not because you like being doubted, but because you know your partner has been through enough in their lives to doubt your actions, because sometimes the trauma will be too much. That’s exactly when you should NOT leave them. That is exactly when you stand by them even stronger, even if they don’t return the love at the time, or ever. Love isn’t loving while expecting to be loved back. Love is loving, while knowing that the opposite end may never love you back. Love is accepting all the flaws, all the crying, all the fears, the insecurities, the anger, the rage, the issues, the sensitivity, the tantrums, the abandoned past, the abusive history, the lack of confidence. Love is accepting all of this, love is loving the person despite all of this. Love is — hoping for a better tomorrow for this person, even if they don’t want to be with you, even if tomorrow is not better. It’s that hope that makes love be one of the most powerful forces of nature. And if that’s not the kind of love you have found, if that’s not the kind of love you are looking for, maybe it’s okay to not be with someone? Maybe you can spend your time embracing yourself and accepting yourself instead of someone else. All in all, I can assure you one thing. Being able to accept yourself alone is much more important than constantly being not accepted by the ‘person of your dreams’. Love is rare. Love is precious. Love is acceptance.
Thank you, this has been the ted-talk of a hopeless romantic who is not always comfortable speaking his mind, but he was today.